Journey With Patina

Instead I’m choosing to write and educate, instead of blessing you in the flesh. Lord, give me the strength to describe this part of the journey in way that you can understand even if you can’t relate. I’m going to let it all fly, including the emotions that come from me while I write this blog.

Breast Cancer Survivorship is another level of healing. This is the mental part of the healing process that no one speaks about. Normal people, those who have never had cancer or have never been through surgery, chemotherapy or radiation, often think it is like bouncing back from cold. Let me tell you right now, it’s NOT. So, please don’t project what you think on a person that just had the scare of their life. Now that the physical part of it is over, we need to heal mentally and physically. Physically we are battling trauma and scars from months, and for some people years of treatment. We will never be the same, simply because of the WORD that we all have to live with daily: reoccurrence. As for me, I pray and ask God to help me find comfort so that I don’t live in my head.

God has led me to speak freely about survivorship so that I can educate others on what’s real. Often I hear, give them grace; and I agree. But when grace is not extended back, then what? Wayment, what about my mental health? Is the world that self-centered? The answer is, YES! I will not apologize because it takes me longer to heal in comparison to someone’s timeframe. Now, let that sink in. I know, that was a bit aggressive for me to express, but it’s also selfish of others to think my healing is based on where someone thinks I should be in MY healing process.

The pressure to say, I’m okay when I’m not is overwhelmingly present. I tell others that I’m okay because I don’t want the pity party that comes along with not being okay. I smile to avoid the uncomfortable awkward comments and conversations. I need time to heal. 😞

Then there’s the mammagram. See folks, it’s the PTSD associated with having to get tested and preparing yourself for the unknown: every 5 months, 6 months, 1 year. The mental capacity to endure is one thing, but the reality is that you remember your treatment and the process every time you go in for a mammogram. Trusting God and walking with Him daily is how I’ve managed to deal with it. I’m learning to take it in stride EVERYDAY! No days off.

Please don’t be that person who says, “𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓫𝓮 𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 𝓽𝓸 𝓷𝓸𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓵”. Normal doesn’t exist anymore. We live differently and our new normal may require more time than you are capable of comprehending or that you have the patience for. We’ve given you grace and accepted you, consider doing the same for us. It’s okay if you don’t understand.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrew 11:1

Have faith with us.

Walk with Jesus with us.

Be like Christ Jesus.

Having hope through perseverance is how I live. Though Jesus Christ, I’ve found peace and rest in the joy of the Lord. Having confidence in Him is the only way that I live in survivorship. I chose to live life, in peace with no regrets.

May this blog give you more clarity, compassion and empathy towards breast cancer survivors. Unfortunately, with this disease patience and experience is the best teacher. But let’s learn to extend grace to others, because trust me you would want it if it were you.

XOXO

Journey with Patina