Walking into Unexpected, Unwanted and Unresolved Emotions Everyday

As I prepare for the next phase of my healing journey, I have no clue how my body will respond to radiation. This feeling of the ๐“พ๐“ท๐“ฎ๐”๐“น๐“ฎ๐“ฌ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ญ, ๐“พ๐“ท๐”€๐“ช๐“ท๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ญ, ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐“พ๐“ท๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ธ๐“ต๐“ฟ๐“ฎ๐“ญ ๐“ฎ๐“ถ๐“ธ๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ธ๐“ท๐“ผ of walking through the ๐“พ๐“ท๐“ด๐“ท๐“ธ๐”€๐“ท is exhausting.

I donโ€™t want to do this. Iโ€™m doing this to save my life. Itโ€™s totally ๐“พ๐“ท๐”€๐“ช๐“ท๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ญ. My pre-op for radiation is less than 24 hours away. Regardless of how many videos that I watch, or the stories that others share, itโ€™s doesnโ€™t get easier. ๐“˜๐“ฝ ๐“ฐ๐“ฎ๐“ฝ๐“ผ ๐“ถ๐“ธ๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ฎ๐”๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“พ๐“ผ๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ซ๐”‚ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ ๐“ถ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“พ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ. People just canโ€™t relate. On the journey of battling breast cancer, you donโ€™t go back to normal. You live in a state of the ๐“พ๐“ท๐”€๐“ช๐“ท๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ญ ๐“พ๐“ท๐“ด๐“ท๐“ธ๐”€๐“ท. Eฬ Vฬ Eฬ Rฬ Yฬ Dฬ Aฬ Yฬ !ฬ 

A Fatherโ€™s โค๏ธ

Recently, in our community we lost a young woman to cancer. My dad did not tell me. He was there to support the family. The father is one of his friends. He didnโ€™t tell me probably because he wanted to keep my spirits lifted. (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•) I guess he can feel the ๐“พ๐“ท๐“ป๐“ธ๐“ผ๐“ธ๐“ต๐“ฟ๐“ฎ๐“ญ ๐“ฎ๐“ถ๐“ธ๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ธ๐“ท๐“ผ that I have. My dad has been there for me and I canโ€™t thank him enough. You are probably thinking, heโ€™s your parent he should. Unfortunately, itโ€™s not true for so many nowadays. Iโ€™m eternally grateful to my heavenly Father for giving me an earthly father like my dad. Lord, I thank you.

A Fatherโ€™s โค๏ธ

Trusting in the Salvation of the Lord

As I continue to walk into the ๐“พ๐“ท๐“ฎ๐”๐“น๐“ฎ๐“ฌ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ญ for radiation, Iโ€™ll lead with prayer and praise. Psalm 13 is a simple prayer and praise. God just wants us to come to Him, His way.

I donโ€™t know what the next few months will bring, all I can do is trust Him. My prayer is that I donโ€™t have the side effects that many have. Psalm 13: 5-6 is like music to my ears. I trust His promises. Amen

Until next time!

๐“ง๐“ž๐“ง๐“ž

๐“™๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ป๐“ท๐“ฎ๐”‚ ๐”€๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ ๐“Ÿ๐“ช๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ช

Psalm 13
Psalm 13 (Continued)

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One response to “Walking into Unexpected, Unwanted and Unresolved Emotions Everyday”

  1. YOLANDA TAYLOR Avatar
    YOLANDA TAYLOR

    What a beautiful praise to both your earthly and heavenly Fathers. You have found your voice in the confusing new normal you have found yourself facing. I also find comfort in the verses you have given. We must praise Him for his mercy of this unexpected place we find ourselves in. I will continue to walk through this knowing I am not alone. Continue your journey and journaling so many of is find comfort and strength in your words.

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